A Life in Progress…

  WHY? Why? This is something I have been asking myself a lot lately. Why? It is such a little word but can hold so much meaning or have so many questions.  Yesterday, was a rough evening. Our kids are in different sports and depending on the day, we have to divide and conquer. Yesterday was one of those days. Anyway, I had made dinner and it was ready at the usual time. We strive to eat dinner no later than 5pm due to practices and try to eat as a family. Yesterday was different. Our son, went to open gym after school and ended up having snacks there. When he got home he wasn't hungry. This was at 4:40pm. I still had dinner ready and due to some company we ate buffet style and did not eat as a family like we normally do. Our son, was outside riding the e-bike. When he was done, he came in and got ready for football practice. When Will was ready, he took our son to practice & was there until 8pm.  Since everyone was done eating, I had put the food that ...

Alone..... I have never felt more alone. In December, our little girl was taken to the hospital for homicidal ideations. She was also doing a lot of self harm and hitting and punching both me, Will, and her counselor. She was in the hospital for 8 days and was diagnosed with DMDD (Bi-polar 1) & PTSD. When she was released, she was doing fantastic. She had a sparkle in her eyes and her demeanor was completely different. It was good times. Then it all started to fall apart. A couple of weeks ago, she threatened to throw a wooden stool at me. It is one of the kind that you usually put at a breakfast bar. It is light weight and does not have a back on it. She also was calling me names and yelling at me. Then, about two weeks later she was angry at school and earned herself Isolated Instruction. (It is basically in-school suspension.) She was there for a total of 2.5 days due to her being unsafe, throwing everything off of her desk, and then throwing a shoe at a para-e...

So far, the past year has been quite difficult for me. A lot has happened in the past year. We adopted two kiddos, out of the Washington Foster Care system, with special needs that are very challenging. We moved away from our strong support system and from a medical system that I knew and understood. We left an area and home I loved, to start over in a new place for a new job. We moved to a nice area in Scottsdale, Arizona. We are close to a park that has a lake with lots of ducks, geese, and other water animals. It has a bike/walking/running path and it is close to a greenbelt that allows you to go basically from one end of Scottsdale to the other. It really is a nice area. We have grown to like the weather here too. Winter was wonderful! Our kiddos have been swimming since March. As for the year being difficult, I feel, I have become someone that I do not like. It has been more difficult that I thought it would be. Our kiddos have been very challenging for me. I find myself getting...