A Life in Progress…

Belonging. We all long to belong. Belonging is acceptance, to feel included. In order to belong, to a group, club, any other organization, you have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. Part of being vulnerable is being able to handle rejection.  I thought I was ready and able to handle rejection but I am finding that I was utterly wrong. I am currently feeling as if I don't belong. Due to this, I feel very lonely. I long for friendships like I had back in Washington. I long for girl's nights and coffee with friends. I long for the kind of friendships that include making time for others. This feeling of aloneness and belonging is becoming so great that it is affecting my daily attitude. All I want to do is feel as if I belong and not feel so lonely all the time.   Belonging = Acceptance

So far, the past year has been quite difficult for me. A lot has happened in the past year. We adopted two kiddos, out of the Washington Foster Care system, with special needs that are very challenging. We moved away from our strong support system and from a medical system that I knew and understood. We left an area and home I loved, to start over in a new place for a new job. We moved to a nice area in Scottsdale, Arizona. We are close to a park that has a lake with lots of ducks, geese, and other water animals. It has a bike/walking/running path and it is close to a greenbelt that allows you to go basically from one end of Scottsdale to the other. It really is a nice area. We have grown to like the weather here too. Winter was wonderful! Our kiddos have been swimming since March. As for the year being difficult, I feel, I have become someone that I do not like. It has been more difficult that I thought it would be. Our kiddos have been very challenging for me. I find myself getting...

Is it too much to ask for a little appreciation? Lately, I have been feeling unappreciated. I am doing a lot for my family but I just feel as if I am being taken advantage of. I do laundry and I don't get a thank you. I make lunches & dinners for my family constantly and all I get is complaints about the food and how icky it is. It is driving my crazy. I am trying to make good, healthy meals for my family. I have been cooking most of the meals we have since our finances are currently very tight. This is a change from what I was doing a couple of years ago. Heck even last year. I just want to feel the appreciation from my family. Is that too much to ask?

I am lonely. I have been struggling with feeling lonely constantly. I am not alone here in Arizona but I am lonely. I mean I have my kids and husband and my little sister and her family but since moving from my comfort zone and home in July, I have seen her maybe a handful of times. Plus, my kids go to school and hubby goes to work. I really don't have much going on in my life. I, however, started attending a mom's group that I found out about through the church we are attending. It is like MOPS but it is for all moms not just the ones that have preschoolers. I have attended 2 meetings so far and the ladies are lovely but I am still out of my comfort zone. The feeling of loneliness has really overtaken me the last couple of weeks. I try to keep it at bay but it is difficult when I am alone most days and all I have to keep me company is my cat Mercy. Then when my family is home, I am cooking meals, making sure homework is done, and making sure the kids are ready for the ...

Day 30: Today I am thankful that my family is healthy. We haven't had any major illnesses in such a long time. We have had the occasional cold but nothing really bad. For that I am thankful.

Day 29: Today I am thankful for a lazy family day. We are able to watch the Apple Cup and just enjoy time together. :)

Day 28: I am thankful for family and the fact that I did not have to cook Thanksgiving dinner. :) I am also thankful that we were able to get the Christmas presents that I wanted to get for the kids at a great price!