A Decision is made

This last week, we have had several decisions to make. Well, not we, me. Going through the foster care licensing process, I was told that I needed to seek grief counseling for children that I have/can't have. Until I go to counseling, our file has been closed. Problem is, I don't know if I can't have my own children. I don't believe in grieving for children that I can't have, especially when I don't know if that is the case. So, I made the decision that we need to get fertility tests done. I am also going to start using ovulation strips to see if I am even ovulating.

I know that I should have made this decision earlier, but I figure...better late than never. I know that I am getting older and getting pregnant is harder as I am getting older, but I don't want to say, I did not know it I could get pregnant or not. It is nice to know that I know someone else who is going through the same thing I am right now & has actually had the testing done. That way if I have any question I can ask her.

Since I have made this decision, I have felt a peace. It is strange, but I do not feel any anxiety about it. I know that I have made the right decision and am anxious to get the process going. I think by taking this step, we will have a better understanding of the next step we will need to take.

Praying for God's Will!