As you know, Will & I have decided to become Foster parents. We started this process in late July - early August. It has been a long process for us too. The social workers have come to our home several times to talk about our separate childhoods, our relationship with our families, and our relationship with each other. Nothing is private. They ask about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING!
Today we had a meeting with the social workers, per their request, to see what the next step was. I mean, I thought that they would be coming to talk about the home walk-thru and what to expect in the finalization process to becoming a licenced Foster Care home. Well, this meeting was not what I had expected. I found out that they want me to go to counseling for grief that, according to them, I have not dealt with.
This is very frustrating to me. The grief that they feel I need to deal with is the fact that I can't have children of my own. Now, there has been NO medical diagnosis of this what so ever, so why would I grieve it? Just because we have been trying for a while to have our own children, does not mean that we can't. I believe that one day we will have a child of our own, if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen, but I believe one day it will. I will continue to believe that until a medical doctor tell us that it is medically impossible for us to have our own children.
So, because I have "un-dealt with grief", our application to become foster parents has been closed or "put on ice". This is very frustrating because of all we have done in this process, as well as others and the amount of time and money spent on this adventure that might not even happen now.
The question I am asking myself now, is........"God, what is your plan? Is this not your will for us? What is next God?"
The Way It Is
5 years ago